Be kind - have good manners - say please and thank you - don't forget to smile - jump in puddles - share your toys with your friends - make new friends - eat your greens - don't push in - be kind.
Simple rules govern the land of childhood. A slight tumble from the path of goodness and you are quickly in the shadows of the realms of bullying. In the world of little people, a bully is easy to spot. Red not rosy cheeks, a steely not gentle gaze, aggressive stomps not tentative steps. A typically bully is named something completely at odds with their demeanour. I once knew a frightening four year old named Imogen. Her best friend was Primrose. They were a force to be reckoned with.
In the world of little people, a bully moves with intent. Sticks and stones are used with rigour and words are the perfect fodder for little tears warming the cheeks of their victims.
In the world of little people, grown ups govern the playgrounds and backyards of their residents. A simple sidestep from the path of goodness is corrected with a stern word and reminder that we are kind to our friends. An apology is directed and everyone involved then skip merrily on their way, back to the path of goodness.
It must be confusing for the little people of our world with one set of rules for them and another set for the grown ups. They could be forgiven for thinking that just like the drinking age, at some point in their little lives, they will graduate from the demanding realm of being kind to one another and step gleefully into the days of heckling, cyberbullying and passive aggressive rebellion to others.
Here at Goodness & Gracious HQ, we love ourselves a good bit of reality TV. We love the drama of a souffle not rising and the tradgedy of being sent to a battle for immunity. We thrive on the tears and tantrums and yearn for the shock exit of the carefully selected villain of the series. Lately however, we've noticed a trend. Villains have existed since Batman & Robin slid into their first pair of tights, they've made life tricky since Oliver Twist asked for more, they've graced our screens since televisions popped up in our living rooms. Villains are no longer medelsome characters plotting to destroy the world (coincidentally this has always confused me, if the world is destroyed, don't they go down too? Where's the fun in that?!) The villains on our TV screens are no longer creatures of the night. Villains are no longer withered creatures with badly applied make up.
Villains today are just about all of us.
What I would give to view a post made by a celebrity on Facebook or Instagram and find the comments left by their followers to be nothing but positive. I'm almost always shocked to read what the minority of their followers are brave enough to write. I say minority because that's just what they are, minor in numbers, minimal in importance yet loud enough to silence the majority.
For example, I'm a self confessed Block'a'holic. A few weeks ago, the Mother of one of this years contestants passed away after a brutal and long battle with cancer. The Block's official Facebook page posted a message of support to the contestant and her family. Hundreds of people left messages of support yet a handful left messages of hate, "get on with it", "who cares - its a renovation show", blah blah blah.
Mean spirited people have and will always exist. What's new in their hatred is the medium of social media. To share and foster their disrespect of others, they simple click the 'comment' button and with a few short (and often misspelt words) their bullying is cemented in the virtual footpath of cyberspace.
The modern day bully often appears as a small face on our computers and smartphones and they have endless hours of typing to fuel their passion for belittling others from the safety of their couch or home office. Such bravery! At least a childhood bully is brave enough to trip you over and shoot you a look the screams "yeah, whatya gonna do about it?"
There is so much written about cyber bullying of children and teenagers. The question of what to do sits in the hands of the grown ups. Perhaps we could start by sending the right messages to our kids? Perhaps we could show then that belittling people is wrong and celebrating our differences is an amazing alternative? Seems pretty simple right?
At risk of repeating myself (something I love to do. What's a story if it doesn't begin with, I'm sure I've told you this before but') but I love reality tv. I was HOOKED on this years My Kitchen Rules. But * insert sigh here * what happened to having manners and being kind to our friends? Anyone who watched an episode or even saw a commercial will know that this years two biggest contestants were 'friends from NSW'. These girls were awful. They blatantly bagged out others, they disrespected people to their faces and even in their own homes, they laughed openly at the failures of others and rolled their eyes at every opportunity. In the land of childhood, this kind of behavior would result in a good talking to, maybe a grounding or even a visit to the school guidance counsellor. On TV, it's a ratings plus and a entertainment high!
What was even worse, in an interview with other contestants on the show, the others claimed to have no knowledge of how these contestants really felt! They were so nice on set!
"Oh", think little people, "so if you tease someone, you just have to say it in a witty way and behind their back and it's okay? And even better, if we say really nasty things online, we don't have to try and muster up the courage to be a meanie in person? Awesome!"
We're all different. We all like and dislike different things. We all wear different clothes and eat different food. We look different and sound different. We are passionate about different things and we are empathetic to different ideals. Being an individual is amazing and in this era, it's brave. Wouldn't it be amazing if instead of hating, criticizing and bullying others and their differences, we accepted them and moved on? Wouldn't it be incredible if we didn't ridicule the people who are brave enough to stand out? Wouldn't it change the world if we were all a little kinder, more accepting and empathetic? Shouldn't we start on these notions with the people who look up to us as though we have all the answers?
The rules for grown ups shouldn't be so different to our little friends. Imagine if our rules for how we take part in society were as simple as being kind - having good manners - saying please and thank you - not forgetting to smile - jumping in puddles - sharing your toys... or at least our positivity, with our friends - making new friends - eating our greens and not pushing in. I dare anyone to challenge the idea that these simple things couldn't change our worlds.
I ask a lot of the readers of this blog, love your flawed bodies, throw away labels and pigeonholing, be nice to stangers, hug trees, smile as you fold your washing yadah yadah yadah. Today I'm asking of you again, on the matter of bullying, in any form, let's all start saying no to all forms of it and show our little ones that just as kicking a friend in the shins is wrong, so too is the adult form.
Come on, who's with me?
Bloggers note: haters gonna hate is not a reasonable argument for not joining this movement.
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