Goodness and Gracious: A word on being kind...

As in Childhood, life as a grown up is marred with all sorts of nasty creatures. Where Childhood housed potential monsters beneath our beds, grown up life often plays host to puzzling and scary creatures. I came across one such being today.

It all began when...

My husband (affectionately known as The Governor), my baby (affectionately known as The Hedgehog) and I drove to a little town on the NSW South Coast called, Berry.

"Oh it's Berry nice to be here", we remarked as we drove into the tree lined town. "I'm Berry hungry after that Berry long car trip", said The Governor as we sought out a place to park.

We had planned to dine at gorgeous little bakery called the Berry Sourdough Cafe. It's famous along this region and on a busy weekend, tables are considered hot property and hard to come by. We arrived at the Bakery to find that it wasn't busy, there were oodles of tables! As we patiently waited to be seated at the sign that said, Please wait patiently to be seated, I held the Hedgehog on my hip and absentmindedly stepped closer to the tables. I was mesmerised by the smells wafting from the kitchen, my heart sung as I saw the barista creating beautiful coffees and the sight of gorgeous golden croissants made me swoon. I was aware that another couple stood in front of us, also waiting to be seated and I stopped myself from nudging them as if to say, "We made it! How lucky are we? Just look at this place!" (all that from a nudge - I must have been planning some nudge!)

The couple in front of us appeared to be husband and wife. They appeared to be in their 50's. They appeared to be a normal, middle aged, hungry-for-delicious-food, kind of couple. I smiled at the wife (unaffectionately known as The Witch - I could use another word that rhymes with witch but I'm trying to be gracious) as she stepped towards me. In the split second before she spoke, I assumed she was going to say one of two things to me.

Assumed comment #1
"We made it! How lucky are we? Just look at this place!"

Assumed comment #2
"Oh my goodness! What a beautiful baby you have! Just look at those eyelashes! And those lips! He is utter perfection. Congratulations on creating such an incredible baby. Enjoy your lunch."

You can imagine my shock when she leered at me, "you won't push in, we were here first, we will be seated first!" I think she may have even waved a finger at me to emphasis her point.

Let's just sit on that for a moment shall we? I've been trying to understand her rationale all afternoon. We were standing in a mostly empty cafe, I was gazing glassy eyed at food, my baby was looking utterly gorgeous and my husband was eyeing the specials board with gay abandon. In my mind, my little family looked like a little bubble of happiness floating towards a delicious lunch in a beautiful venue in a quaint little village. What brings out such unnecessary rudeness on an otherwise perfect day?

One day soon I'll broach the topic of online trolls and road rage and passive aggressive behaviour. Today however is solely dedicated to being kind to one another. Ellen de Generes closes every single taping of her show by saying, "Be kind to one another". I love the simpleness of this. Be kind to one another. Be kind to one another. Simple! Yet for some people it's not.

To be clear, I am not the worlds nicest person. I do not have blue birds chirping on my shoulder as I flounce around my home singing in my apron and sprinkling star dust on my husbands nose. I can be a right pain when it's needed and appropriate and yes, there are times when it's needed and appropriate. I have never been embarrassed by the way that I've conducted myself to strangers, to waitresses, to retail staff, to bus drivers. Today however, I was stunned and embarrassed by this awful woman. My face prickled with anger. My smile turned to a scowl. I think I babbled a reply something similar to, "no of course not, we wouldn't do that, but hang on didn't you notice my beautiful baby?"

I WISH I had been smart enough to reply that of course I wouldn't take her table and draw her attention to the almost empty cafe. I WISH I had been witty enough to think of a clever way to question her rudeness. I WISH I had asked her why she felt the need to leer at me. I WISH I hadn't let her aggression get to me.

In Childhood we are taught to have good manners. Should a teacher visit our classrooms, we were taught to greet them gaily, "Good morning Mrs Niven and may god bless you". We were taught to say please and thank you, to respect each other and wait our turn in line. Somewhere along the express line to become an adult, we forget these little things. Are we too busy to be kind? Are we too important to show respect to others? Is our right to enjoy a roasted beetroot and quinoa salad first somehow more valid than the next person?

Since making the decision to write this blog embracing the goodness in the world and to be more gracious to others, my world has been lived in high definition. Just a week ago, my brief encounter with the Witch may have passed in a flash. I feel like I'm seeing colours more brightly, I'm enjoying my surroundings more than ever and reminding myself how lucky I am to live in a home that overlooks the ocean, how incredible it is that the white noise sending me to sleep at night is from the sea crashing on the beach just a short distance from my front door. I'm noticing all sorts of murky behaviour in some and seeing the good in others.

My brief encounter with the Witch got me thinking (nice little nod to Carrie Bradshaw there) about being kinder to one another. I've set myself a challenge for this week - I'm going to be kinder to the people in my world. Join me?

This week, I'm going to respond when the check-out chick (is there a more PC term? Let me know if there is) asks me how my day is going. I'm going to make conversation when the owner of my favourite cafe dismisses me as she always does, even though I'm there every day, supporting her small business with my love of coffee. I'm going to stop and think before jumping to a conclusion about someone or something I know little about.

It's going to be hard! I left childhood 18 or so years ago, seeing the good in all things and all people won't come easily but hey, it's worth a shot.

I'll report back this weekend and let you all know how I get on. Wish me luck!

In the meantime, as Ellen says, be kind to one another.